Lighting our Inner Candle and Finding where God Dwells

I think this search started at a really early age for me.  Like most people I took the road well traveled instead of the least traveled.  The road I took was filled with instant gratification, self searching and lead to emptiness and loneliness.

On this road my life had become absurd.  The word absurd comes from the Latin word surdus which mean deaf.  To  be completely deaf is to be absurdus.  Through self-seeking, instant gratification, indulgence in the party life style, I had become deaf.  My life had become absurd and my inner candle had dimmed to almost complete darkness.

It was from my life being absurd that my life had become less absurd and my inner candle became brighter.  I know this sounds paradoxical , but it is the truth.  We learn from our brokenness how to be full.  We are born to eternal life through our death.  Christ’s passion is the ultimate example of this.  It is through this mystery  that we can and will grow spiritually.  As a child learns not to touch a hot stove by burning them self, we learn how to listen by becoming deaf.

Many people of the 12 step program have found a good way to start this spiritual journey, especially if they struggled with the ideal of God.  But if one already has a faith, one can learn this through prayer, meditation and living in the moment.

The search for God really starts from within.  God and Christ dwells in our hearts.  God communicates through love.  This love must start of the self.  We must learn not to focus on our past, our mistakes, things we have said or done.  By learning to let these go and forgiving ourselves we can start loving ourselves.

We must also learn not to project ourselves and think of the future so much.  If I can only have that promotion, if I could only find that perfect mate, what if my father dies, what if I lose my job, etc.  By preoccupying ourselves with these if’s and what if’s, we lose sight of today and this moment.

In Revelations 21:2-5, God is telling us he is with us, he is within us.  God will wipe away our tears, heal our pain and end our mourning.  We must learn to listen to that voice that dwells within us.  When we are listening to God, and in a relationship with Him through prayer, we will find these promises to come true.  We will be able to have joy within our mourning, our pains will be healed and our tears will be wiped away.  Our lives will not be crippled by these emotions and feelings and we will not be living in darkness.  For the light of our inner candle will bring us warmth through God’s love that dwells within us.

How can we do this?  Myself, I found it within the Rosary.  The Rosary is a very powerful prayer tool.  It is prayer, meditation, mental and physical.  But one can start as simple as repeating the Lord’s Prayer (The Our Father), or the Jesus Prayer , or just by saying Jesus.  By erasing the days thoughts, wants and desires and focusing on the inner us, we will be able to quiet ourselves and hear God and light the candle that is within us.

Just 10 minutes a day of this simple prayer will help us to listen.  By listening our lives can become less absurd and we will begin to live within our hearts, where God dwells and our inner candle can shine more brightly.

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~ by Polish Jedi on September 30, 2009.

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